Tuesday, August 10, 2010
It's been a while since I have been on here. I decided that I wasn't going to bring my dirty laundry out for public viewing. Since the last time I wrote, a lot has happened. I moved 1200 miles, got a new job and a new house. I have also decided to take my entrance exam for the military...exciting and scary at the same time. Anyway, God has led me on this amazing journey thus far in my life. It hasn't always been the greatest journey, but if we didn't make mistakes, how would we ever learn? What I have learned is that God is always on my side, no matter how hard my life gets. I am always taken back to the "Footprints" poem, and the last line that says, "Where you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you," and I know that God is carrying me. Just when I start to question past decisions, he shows me that I am on the right path. I swear God has a connection to me through music. Whenever I have asked him to show me a sign, it has been through music, and I don't believe it was coincidence...I truly believe that God has a purpose and reason for everything. I am slowly putting my life back together. Some days are harder than others, but I have a lasting peace knowing that God is forever with me.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Recently I was engaged to this man that I thought was the most perfect being on Earth. We had started dating 3 years ago. Of course we had our moments and we did break up for a bit. During that time, I had moved away from him hoping that my heart would heal, but I left the door open a crack for him. He contacted me, and we picked up our relationship right where it had ended. He told me he wanted me to be his wife. I uprooted my life for him and moved across the country for him, thinking things would be perfect. We all know that life is not perfect all the time. I struggled with leaving these great opportunities for him, and he struggled because he didn't understand where I was coming from. Eventually we fell apart, and I had to end the relationship. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and each day is a blessing, but also a painful reminder that I am going to have to continue my life without him. One day I hope that he and I can be friends, but at the moment I want absolutely nothing to do with him. Tomorrow is the big day when I have to face going back to the house we shared and gather my belongings. Thank goodness for my mom. She has been an amazing support system, and although she and I will be miles apart, she is the one person that I know has faith in me and just wants me to be happy. My life has been turned upside down and I am now trying to figure out who I am in this world without him.